Sigh…I’m just gonna get right to the point: men, when are you going to learn how to properly put together an online dating profile? Seriously, we’ve been in this techno-dating age for how many years now? I don’t care what age you are, I really can’t think of a good reason to not be properly seasoned in the ways of internet lovin’ by now.
Regardless, it seems that many of you just can’t get it together. For example, I was recently looking over the new online dating profile of a good buddy of mine. This guy is totally great. He’s undoubtedly a catch by any standards. But his profile made him look like the absolute dullest, lamest, most awkward version of himself possible. And his profile picture was of him doing a keg stand in college! He’s 31 years old now! And really hot, so it’s not like he was just trying to look younger or something. He said he thought it would be “funny”. Seriously? And this is a man who, in real life, actually is quite hilarious. There just seems to be something about constructing an online synopsis of oneself that makes men completely forget how to convey their awesomeness.
Now, I certainly don’t mean to be sexist here; I’m more than certain that there are a sad number of women out there who are currently flubbing up their online dating profiles terribly. But hey, I’m a chick and I’ve definitely spent more time looking at dudes’ profiles. That’s just how it is. So, in hopes that no one of either gender will feel neglected/persecuted, here are my top three online dating profile mistakes that I sincerely hope men will stop making:
1) Be original…really
One of the biggest mistakes guys tend to make in their online dating profile is saying they’re funny, when really, they should just take all that empty typing space and be funny. We’re smart girls. We know a sense of humor when we see one. And sadly, in the online dating world, we don’t see one frequently enough.
But that’s not the only point here; the real idea is to be original. Do you know how many guys are using the exact same five, generic terms to describe themselves? Yeah, pretty much all of them. Not that we ladies don’t want a man who is “dependable”, “funny”, “outgoing”, “easy-going”, etc, but come on…give us more to work with than that!
I’m sorry but if I saw a profile with nothing more interesting and promising than those adjectives on it, I’d just keep on movin’…and so would the majority of other ladies who are worth a damn.
2) Mind the photo
Doesn’t it feel like we’ve told you this before, guys? Okay. Let’s go over it again: please do not do any of the following things with your profile picture when you’re online dating: let it feature a keg/strippers, let it be of just an animal (actually a picture of you and your dog is kinda lame too, unless you’re doing something awesome like hiking or saving a boat full of nuns together), let it be of you and your ex (seriously, some of you are still doing this. We don’t care if it’s the most flattering picture of you)…this list could go on for a long time.
It’s safe to say that all we want you to do is present us with a nice, clear image of what you currently look like (no reachin’ back to the glory days, old timer; embrace your Silver Foxiness!) Don’t worry about getting tricky. The goal is very simple here.
3) Back and forth forever
There is a lot to be said for the sweet anticipation of exchanging those first few getting-to-know-you, slightly flirtatious emails back and forth with a new find on a dating website. It’s pretty great. And that’s the beauty of cyber-dating; you get to pre-screen your dates without looking like a jerk for doing so.
But there comes a time when going through to process of online dating, with the emails and the various little online contacts, turns into a serious and terrible lack of trigger pulling. In short, we want you to ask us to meet in person.
This doesn’t have to be complicated; suggest something simple and as pressure-free as possible, like coffee. It simply baffles women why it takes men so long to get to this point. I mean, if they aren’t interested, you’ll know it right away and come on, this is a pretty emotionally safe format in which to get rejected. You don’t really have much to lose…except a potentially awesome lady’s interest if you drag your feet for too long.
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